eclipses are times where we don’t push for what we want
events unfold with or without us
virgo is the sign of the hands: small joints, maintenance, crafts, care
a virgo lunar eclipse asks us to relinquish our grip
it might mean that something falls from our hands
what do you let fall? why?
will it shatter? will it spill? will it catch the breeze and float away?
when something shatters, it can feel like confirmation of an inevitable failure
virgo icon sara ahmed reminds us: ‘the assumption of fragility can make something fragile; just think of how you can become clumsier when you are trying to be careful not to break what easily breaks.’
but sara ahmed also asks whether ‘there is a way of relating to breaking that does not aim for restoration … can the fragments reassemble in or from being shattered?’
shattering can be a relief
picking up the pieces might make something easier to digest, to process
like cutting up an apple into smaller pieces when you’re sick
this lunar eclipse in virgo is ruled by a mercury in aries. a mercury that has a knife (no!)
but we can use a knife to care. we can cut up an apple for a loved one if they’re sick
we can use a knife to cut off something poisonous or dying to preserve life
(apple cores with cyanide seeds: something poisonous in one context could sprout life in another)
when something spills it can remind us that our vessels are too small
spilling can be an affirmation of what can never be contained or held
what is unable to be captured by an inadequate framework
(thinking with alexis pauline gumbs)
it can be a reminder of precious unruliness
virgo loves order, loves to hold, loves to arrange,
but life doesn’t stay still. it doesn’t stay clean. it undoes itself every second
and that's the real, tangible joy of being a virgo: there's always work to be done
we release, together, the urging towards a perfect image
we release unloving and life-denying motivation: shame
we let unrealistic hopes of permanence slip from our hands
perfectionism is control, even if it shows itself as a peaceful dream
wanting something holy and finished—like a perfectly clean house, forevermore—means denying life here on earth
denying what will always sprawl and spread so beautifully
gorgeous dirt and lovely inconvenience
it can feel like a shock to our nervous system, for something to suddenly fall and shatter
last year, i dropped an entire pot of beef soup
i spent about five minutes just standing in the middle of the soup. i stood and stared at all the work i had to do
the meat, oil, water, tiny fragments of star anise and slivered onion splattered over me, the floor, the walls
and then i cried
and then i cleaned it up.
were my soup-making efforts wasted? maybe so
but the experience of cleaning an entire pot of soup off the floor
soaking a whole old towel in greasy stock
washing my red-stained feet
it was certainly memorable
from there... something else fell from my life
something else i couldn't hold, no matter how hard i tried
and i tried. my knuckles were white and sore
my stomach lurching for months, like it was me about to fall
like i was holding myself at the edge of a cliff
when this thing slipped from my hands, among many other feelings
it felt like a relief for it to no longer bear weight against my joints and muscles
it felt liberating to fall, even if i was crushed by the impact
i learnt a virgo lesson. no matter what, you can always clean it up
a sticky floor, a bloody scrape, a thought process, a broken heart
no matter your sorrows, the tidying can be an interesting ritual
flawed world makes flawed life
a fallen pot of soup on the floor becomes something new, even sensual
a disappointment becomes something that lovingly catches the light
translucent red oil glistening on what used to be my kitchen floor
a shake of a rosy kaleidoscope, tinged with grief
just another day of flawed life
once something falls, your hands are free
you’re not tied up. you can do stuff
this eclipse could free up your hands for something vital down the line
not even by accident: you might be inspired to put down your tools by choice
to set down your work, to clock off, to hang up your gloves
aries motivations: exercising agency, courage, determination
you might even go on strike (the word strike is so aries)
you might even strike something with your hands (a virgo-aries collaboration)
hands can connect and they can push away
however, there is also the possibility that all this eclipse will ask of you
is to loosen your grip. feel every tiny muscle relax
and have faith that whatever is in your palm will stay if it’s meant to
some things are too vulnerable and delicate to be grasped
clingy hands aren’t inspired by the love of what they hold or tend to
they’re clinging to the safety that a tenacious grip appears to promise
clinging to the impossible hope of permanent relief
saturn in pisces spoke up in this eclipse, somewhat clouded by neptune
a jupiter-ruled saturn reminds me of cruel optimism (lauren berlant)
the image, fantasy, object you imbue with the power to save you, heal you, rescue you, free you
is itself the source of suffering, the ‘obstacle to your flourishing’
what appears jupiterian: aspiration to an perfect beautiful imagined outcome
becomes saturnian: sabotage and denial of an imperfect beautiful tangible outcome
the task is to disentangle the feelings you want from where you think you’ll get them
it can be a heartbreaking task that dismantles everything you thought you lived for
but
no matter how painful, every reality check makes a beautiful reality more possible
confronting a hard truth is the only thing that allows the soft truths to appear too
facing inevitable failure with compassion is the only thing that grants us sweet intimacy with the world
i don’t make the rules. saturn does
despite craving closeness, a clingy hand can’t be gentle
it can’t be curious about textures and temperatures
it can’t appreciate the tactile beauty of the weave, the fabric of relation
= all the ways we honour others by being unflinchingly present (thx glissant)
present in our flesh and present to those perceptive limits that enable relation
clingy hands are lost in the past and attached to the future
if virgo is the sign of the hands, we learn that hands are at their best when they are mutable
when they can adopt as many postures as needed, when they can respond to the present moment with skill and practice
when they can mediate our desires with all the mysterious life outside our skin
when they act always in relation
isn’t it cute that, despite the constant use of our hands to manipulate the world
gentle touch reveals how sensitive, nerved, ticklish and responsive they are
freed up hands can remember their ability to soothe, to caress, to play, to create joy
they can define themselves beyond disconnective utility and function
soothing you soothes me: hands transmit care both ways
in an honourable exchange, to give is to receive, and to receive is to give
virgo’s supposed association with selflessness is really an orientation towards this truth
a nourishing truth approached in every moment of generosity
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this feels so delicate and beautiful. you’re amazing
such beautiful words, thank you